My birthdate is 2nd April 98 so I'm an Aries. This picture shows me snoozing
at the age of about 3 months.
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Latest news - January 1999
Those humans have really done it this time - they've gone and decided to get another cat.
I had to protest in the strongest possible terms. Now that tis strange white create has been
here a while, I'm gettng quite fond of her.
What I'm doing now
Between entering catwalk conments I'm fighting my human mother figure for control of an old Palm Sunday cross that the humans once used as a bookmark.
My daily routine
I wake up first, usually about 5:30, though I'm gradually realising that this is fairly pointless as the male human doesn't do anything useful until
about 7:10 when my inadequate breakfast is served in the very finest beige porcelain.
About 9 o'clock, the lady human pours out some wonderful kitty milk, but apart from that
I'm made to starve until the evening - they've reduced me to two meals a day! Occasionally
supper includes special treats such as turkey, left-over fresh fish,
or a sliver of Parmesan cheese.
The exertions of breakfast make a chap thoroughly somnolent, so the next few hours have to be
spent on a sofa with head down and legs dangling
off the edge. My favourite catnip-scented mouse often catches forty winks at the same time.
Just before luncheon I survey my estate for an hour or so and correct any
erroneous flower planting ideas that I notice, and chase away those of the
insect persuasion who attempt to invade. I now roam out of the garden, and like to
check out the riverbank and a few neighbouring gardens. I've noticed a few chaps
who look like me, but haven't met them properly yet.
In the middle of the day, the serious sleep of the day, 'el siesta', takes place. This can sometimes last until the male human comes through the front door
with that Samsonite that I love to climb on; but sometimes I manage to rouse myself in time for another dash around the garden and a spot of tea.
The evening always includes a session of "physical jerks". These can include:
My favourite toy of all (and I have a few) is the kitchen tap, Water is completely
fascinating - I can happily watch a dripping tap for hours. I still don't quite
understand why the back of my head gets wet when I look under the tap to see where
the water goes.
- A little light curtain-climbing, though my personal trainer approves of this
less than he used to.
- Bookcase mountaineering (I'm currently reaching a level equivalent to about the Khumbu
ice-fall - there are a few shelves left).
- Touch-typing (see above)
- Bear-grass hunting
- Scratch-board climbing
- Litter-tray excavation (Mabel enjoys this too - she taught me more about burial techniques
than anyone else ever managed).
At bedtime I may sleep in my own basket downstairs, or on top of the drinks
cabinet (7 ft) in the lounge. If I'm feeling more sociable, I go and kill human feet
under the eiderdown before grabbing a patch of pillow when some chump is gullible
enough to move his head.
These measurements are now ended except for occasional uses of bathroom scales -
I'm too big for the kitchen ones.
|2 April 98 ||5 oz
|5 June 98 ||1 lb 10 oz |
|13 June 98 ||1 lb 14 oz|
|19 June 98 ||2 lb 1 oz|
|27 June 98 ||2 lb 5 oz|
|5 July 98 ||2 lb 11 oz (burp!)|
|10 July 98 ||3 lb 0 oz|
|18 July 98 ||3 lb 4 oz|
|24 July 98 ||3 lb 12 oz|
|31 July 98 ||4 lb 1 oz|
|7 August 98 ||4 lb 7 oz|
|14 July 98 ||4 lb 12 oz|
|21 August 98||5lb 3 oz|
|28 August 98|| over 5lb 8oz...|
|Christmas 98||about 9 lb|
I live to eat...
Suggestions for catfood manufacturers
The "stolen from the human table" range:
- Home-made Spaghetti Bolognese
- Chinese take-away combo - Pancake Roll, Duck and Pineapple,
and Peppered Duck, served on a bed of beansprouts
- Home-made tuna mayonnaise bowl lickings
- Favourite dips - Pringles with taramasalata
- Slices of factory turkey with lettuce and mayonnaise
- Dessert special - custard, jam and clotted cream
Editor: Henry Felix Biddlecombe